Blender
by Owlness
Summary: Mayuri has a new invention, and some how a girlfriend. What happens when he unveils his new invention to her. ((MADE ON REQUEST)) ((BASED ON RP)) ((MayuriXOC)) ((CRACK))


_**BLENDER  
**_

_By Request; Mayuri Kurotsuchi_

**_WARNING_**: _Contains the following; insaneness, crack, OCs, and Sword Spirits. Don't like any of it? I suggest you don't read then. :I_

* * *

Mayuri Kurotsuchi, the scientist responsible for the 12th Division of the Seireitei was leaned over his desk. His honey-golden orbs were scanning over blue-prints for something… but what exactly was it? The feeling of suspense seemed to taint the air. Leaving a sense that whatever he would be working on, would not be good for those he didn't like. As he looked back up towards the darkness, a metal machine gleamed from what little light it received. Mayuri smiled broadly, revealing his painted, yellow, symmetrical teeth. He was clearly amused, but by what? That was the question to be asking here. As he stood up, his eyes darted over to the small female sitting on a cleared desk, she was munching on what appeared to be a 'Tootsie-pop' as people in the human world would call them. She had her legs swinging back and forward in amusement, watching him do his work—feeling as if she watched him, she'd learn something. Though Mayuri sure from what the blueprints were telling him to build, she wouldn't learn anything great. To him, it was a simple machine, it would be used for future torture and 'games' he would play with his foes.

He sighed a bit at the girl on the desk. Her name was Zabimaru. A sword spirit whom had came upon his lab one day in her random travels. She was looking for her master in the first place—not him. He just happened to run into her one day on one of her feeble searches. He began to communicate with her, and learn about her. After the many times he had simply BEGGED her to give into testing. She did. The sword spirit went though reiatsu testing. A few injections and somehow she was still the same. She had gone though no side effects of the extra reiatsu. He then tried an old substance Kisuke Urahara had made. When he had tried it, at first, it didn't work. He had gone into a full out hissy fit. She then took a deep breath and insisted he try again. Astonished by her bravery, he was extremely hesitant for some reason. After the spirit confirmed she wanted to do this to help science. He slowly began the testing. The Sword Spirit began to experience heart attack like symptoms and had started to fade away on the floor. Mayuri could keep the sudden instincts inside him from clawing their way out of his chest. He quickly found another substance to cancel it out. The Sword Spirit began to slowly recover, as she admitted she was happy he saved her. Though something was stuck in his mind… what exactly drove him to save the spirit? It was a force, yes, but… that unbeknownst to the scientific mind. Now he had experienced oh-so much of his years of being a scientist, how could he NOT know what this feeling is? He was sure it was a sickness. A bug that he had simply caught under the circumstances of the filthy Soul Reapers that enter his lab, on that thought, he could simply replace all of his organs and be done with the matter, correct? It wasn't working though, that feeling… it was lodged in his throat, and his chest. It wouldn't budge. No matter how much medicine he took. It couldn't drown out this feeling. He began to grow mad. This wasn't making any sense! How could one fall ill to such a weak, annoying bug?! Especially Mayuri Kurotsuchi—he would be the one to demolish such a thing under his feet, and cackle at its puny defeat! He would be the one to demolish such things in a matter of seconds! Yes! Yes! But… no matter what he would do… it haunted him like his own shadow. He noticed it grew stronger with the girl, Zabimaru, he knew this had something to do with her… but exactly what? What was going on here?!

Time after time, every time he met her, the feeling would purge his chest. It would close up his throat. It would give him Amnesia for the shortest periods of time. The medical books, they gave him nothing in return for his suffering. Not even a clue. He was in misery as to why he could not figure out why this was happening to him, and why only him? This wasn't right, this simply wasn't right. He forgets when he came across his brief meeting with Miss. Matsumoto, but she had chatted to him about how he was feeling and nearly looked like she was going to faint. She had slipped a note in his pocket and told him to keep in contact about how everything would go after that. Soon, Zabimaru pestered him about how he was feeling. It turned into a all out panic attack while the two tried to figure out what was wrong with Mayuri. Zabimaru had sympathized to say that she had been feeling the same way, too. In the midst of the panic, the note fluttered to the ground. Zabimaru saw it and picked it up; it was definitely Matsumoto's writing. Her eyes widened as she felt dumb as to what was really happening. What did the note say? Quote on quote—the following:

"Ha! Mayuri Kurotsuchi; you're love struck! – Love, Rangiku"

Here he was now, the girl who felt the same way about him on top of the desk, giving him a faint smile as she enjoyed her candy treat. He turned back to the machine as he tinkered with it for one last time. Zabimaru jumped down from the desk with a 'clack', the long red hair upon her head swaying as she slowly walked over.

"Mayuri-san," she had whispered though the Tootsie-pop. "What are you building exactly? Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Ah, yes, my dearest Zabimaru," he smiled lightly. "Help me unveil my masterpiece."

"Ah, o-okay," she said walking over to the dark area of the room. When she got a closer look, the machine was like a long, cylinder in a way. It was a bit wider at the stop, and skinner at the bottom. It was covered by a tarp. It's light, dirty, dusty green hiding many of the features of the machine. She gulped a bit, fearful of what was before her. As Mayuri nudged her in the side, she looked over. He gave her a reassuring glance as if he was reading her mind. She blinked, astonished and then turned back to the machine. Her hand reached out to grab the tarp. As she looked back at Mayuri one last time, as he nodded in approval. She yanked off the tarp, a cloud of dust flying into the air. The tarp landed on the floor, finally revealing the machine.

"… Is that a..?!"

"Yes! Yes it is!"

"A… giant..?"

"BLENDER!"

Zabimaru's jaw dropped to the floor. In front of her was a red, clear glass blender. The giant blades at the bottom glimmering with the small moon-light in the window of the lab, and he had actually carved how many gallons would be in the blender if something was actually thrown in. She looked over to Mayuri with a stupefied look. He started cackling insanely as he went over and hugged his precious blender. "Oh, my sweet, sweet blender," he gave the blender a kiss on the glass. "You're forever mine,"

She grumbled a bit as she crossed her arms, a bit envious of the blender for some odd reason. It was unknown to her, but whatever made her tick didn't like it. She rolled her eyes and then continued to question him. "So… what exactly is this for, anyways?" she murmured.

"For making delicious smoothies… AND-!"

"… And..?" she asked, lifting a brow.

"CRUSHING MY FOES!" he suddenly grabbed a Szayel Asparro Ganz doll, in which he had cheaply made. He threw it in the blender along with a Kenpachi Zaraki doll, an Aizen doll, and a few random Quincies that Zabimaru couldn't identify. He suddenly ran over and flipped a switch on the blender. A humongous roar erupted from the motor, the blades spun; chopping up the dolls like it was liver to a butcher. Zabimaru shuddered horribly as Kenpachi's severed head was stuck to the side of the blender, the fluff falling out of the bottom of his neck. She was traumatized. She was frozen like she was in the middle of Antarctica. Mayuri wiped away a few tears from laughing so hard and turned off the blender. He walked over to her, and placed an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "So, what do you think, Zabi-chan?"

"I-I think I'm going to be sick," she gags.

"That's what they all say," he sighs dreamily.

"That's what they all say..."

_END_

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**A/N**

**Madarao**: "I had a lot of fun writing this, even though most of it was done around 1 AM over here. I'm so tired."

**Mayuri**: "Take a nice rest, Madarao-kun."

**Madarao**: *passes out*

**Zabimaru**: "First time at completing a short story on me! Sorry the story about me is kind of short… along with the overall story."

**Mayuri**: "All based on a RP! So… there's that…"

Thanks for reading! 8D


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